Sarah

4 years...

2008-02-22T21:45:37Z

I can't help but think...

What would you be doing?
Would you have a job in the "real world"?
Would you have new boys to complain about?
How would you be changing the world?

I want your advice on life.
I want your perspective on things.
I want to hear your reaction to Mikey coming out...and have you ask him for all the details of his sex life and then act disgusted and disturbed.
I want you to freak out about all the weddings and go crazy helping with planning.
I want you to freak out about Stephanie having a baby and then find some amazing and creative way to celebrate.
I want your mom to have you there for her still.
I want you to have a boob reduction party with Jaz.
I want you to have facebook so you can stalk people and amuse me with stories of your stalking.
I want to hear you complain about stupid boys again.
I want you to do my hair for the wedding I'm going to tomorrow.
I want to hug you.
I want you to tell me it's going to be okay.
I want you to know how much you meant and still mean to me and so many other people.

I still wish I would have sent that letter a year earlier...or even a day earlier.

I miss you. Always.

"It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy"

"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:

I have been changed for good"

Thankful for...

2006-11-23T03:19:17Z

My parents
For being a "secure base" (yeah-attachment has taken over my life), for always telling me how much they love me and how proud they are of me, for supporting me in everything I do, and for just being amazing parents in general

My sisters and Brian
"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost." For letting me act like I'm 10...for making me proud of all the amazing things they do...for making sure I know I'm still loved even though I'm the non-Cornellian and whatnot. For letting me live with you and for letting me hang out with your friends. For being generally amazing and loving and making me smile and supporting me in everything. For being the best sisters I could ever ask for...

Regardless
"it's hard to find someone who will love you no matter what. i was lucky enough to find three." For square and regardless and yellow ribbon and olives and cookies and e-mails and chat rooms and support through everything and listening to me complain and generally putting up with me.

IOEA
For San Diego and random e-mails and girls' nights and shopping and dinners and no boundaries and being blunt and making me laugh and smile when I'm having a horrible day. For being "sisters" and listening to me complain and being sarcastic and letting the youngin' stick around with you all this time.

Hovey Buddies
I miss my Hovey Buddies (and extended-including Ry and Amy and whatnot) like crazy. College would not have been college without them. For puckers and trampolines and Love Actually and Elf and handymen and spider killers and weddings and study parties and crappy TV and ice cream and birthday parties and so much more. For being the best roommates I could ask for...

The Boys
For putting up with my bitterness and my bitchiness and still being there when I really need you. For giving me perspective on things. For making me feel loved. For making me laugh...all the time. For being my gay best friend. For telling me every detail. For letting me ramble to you. For understanding that I don't always make sense. For still being you. For being BAMFA.

GG girls/SCB
For Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving and chocolate cake and gossip and eating and laughing and sharing and Jess vs. Dean and chasing Mocha and coffee and errands and fun.

Hebrew School Girls
For memories from preschool and Camp Tikvah, OSRUI, Hebrew school, retreats, BTTY, and more. For Barbies and passing notes and dances and services and Bat Mitzvah's and keeping in touch through it all.

N-Unit
For adopting me into your apartment. For star gazing and Chuckee Cheese and Fat Jack's and limos and shopping. For driving to Champaign to meet me for breakfast early on a Saturday. For facebook messages and text messages and entertainment and being amazing.

Atkin 6
For all the memories, for yahoo group e-mails and updates and memories and rice krispie treats and floor dinners. For White Christmas and formals and crocheting and floor t-shirts.

SACers
For all the memories and #1 floats and school spirit and organization and productivity and fun and SAC Smacks and the fight song and picnics and green monkeys and much much more.

Up Til Dawn-ers
For helping me do something worthwhile. For helping me realize how amazing St. Jude is...For Memphis trips and fake names and fundraising and jello wrestling and t-shirts and hoodies and road trips.

Hillel-ers
For entertaining me and welcoming me even when I stopped coming so often and randomly checking in and putting up with me when I was going crazy as President a few years ago.

Developmental-ies
Lucky to have girls I get along with so well who are in all my classes and can complain with me and distract me and send e-mails and play yahoo games and help with homework and throw wine parties and give feedback on papers and make me feel like I'm not alone in the craziness that is grad school.

Labbies
For making the gazillion hours I spend in the lab bearable. For entertaining me with stories and helping me get crap done and comments about hating random things and discussing TV and coding interact and enjoying two-daddy families and noodles n co. and happy hours.

Roommates
For being nice and clean and putting up with me and baking and sharing movies and inviting me places and making me feel less alone.

Uncategorized :oP
For all of you that didn't fit under one of those headings (Nicole, Megan, Melissa, Zajicek, Rachel Poulin, Stacey, Kristine, Conant kids and ISU kids I randomly hear from on IM or see when I'm home and more...but those were the people I could think of that might actually read this sometime :oP)...For late-night catch-up conversations, for Since You Been Gone, for mac and cheese and witches and worm hunts and growing up together, for making me feel important, for depending on me, for teaching me life lessons, for memories and support and keeping in touch. For being my friend.

Professors
For recommendation letters and supporting me and teaching me and mentoring me. For sometimes making me feel like I'm less than an idiot. For inspiring me. For realizing everyone makes mistakes sometimes. For recognizing the work I put into things.

Rachel
For inspiring me daily. For reminding me what's important in life. For motivating me to get involved in things like Make-A-Wish and Up Til Dawn. For having gone all out in everything you ever did. For biore pore cleanser and waffle houses and 'do you do that' and surprise parties and decorations and boy stories and doing hair and so many memories. For making sure we all knew how much you cared.

Friends' parents/Aunts/Uncles/Grandparents
For random cards and updates and IMs and e-mails and calls and support. For making me feel like I am/was an important part of your daughter's life. For telling me how proud you are of me.

And SO much more.
But I realize it's mostly the people that make it.
The things...are mostly because of people: picture frames and scrapbooks to remind me of the memories with these people, internet so I can keep in touch with all these people, Gilmore Girls and Grey's...which I love to talk to people about, traveling with and to people I love, cards, letters, and packages to and from friends...
And then there are the little things: coffee, nice weather, quotes, reading for fun, chick flicks, Disney movies, hoodies, all the little things that we often take for granted that can make any day brighter...

Just good to remind myself every once in awhile. I know I'm lucky-and I'm reminded every time I get a random IM or text or card or e-mail from someone who makes me smile and makes my day a little brighter. I'm thankful that I think I've found the right path for me-that grad school's challenging and stressful, but it's something that I really care about and think is the right thing for me. And while going along this path, the people I love make everything worth it. And reminding myself not to take it all for granted...and to thank all of you whenever I can...is what Thanskgiving is all about, right? Corny, I know. But I figure I don't update lj too often-might as well make it worth something.

So, thank you!!! I love you.

one-sided conversation of grad school ramblings...

2006-03-21T21:44:53Z

lilgrson 22: pretty much narrowed down to two schools
lilgrson 22: so many factors to consider though :-\
"are you leaning towards either school more than the other right now?"
lilgrson 22: i was leaning toward maryland
lilgrson 22: but a major part of that is just kinda because i want to go somewhere new
"but what makes U of I seem better?"
lilgrson 22: well...
lilgrson 22: u of i's technically higher ranked
lilgrson 22: and a larger program
lilgrson 22: kinda more well-established
lilgrson 22: but the prof at maryland is also well-established
lilgrson 22: but she just moved to maryland
lilgrson 22: setting up a new lab and whatnot
lilgrson 22: which could be a cool experience
lilgrson 22: and they both offered me fellowships
lilgrson 22: but u of i's was actually for more money...and the cost of living is much cheaper there
lilgrson 22: i'm visiting u of i again in a couple weeks
lilgrson 22: and then i figure i'll decide that first week in april
lilgrson 22: a part of me really wants to go somewhere new
lilgrson 22: and DC's east coast...so it's not as far as oregon
lilgrson 22: and closer to boston too
lilgrson 22: and not too far from family in NJ and NY and whatnot
lilgrson 22: but much more expensive
lilgrson 22: and not necessarily as safe of an area
lilgrson 22: wanna hear my shpeel (no idea how to spell that) about both?
lilgrson 22: k
lilgrson 22: here goes
lilgrson 22: so.....................
lilgrson 22: maryland:
lilgrson 22: the prof is just moving there from chicago
lilgrson 22: she's well-established and respected in the field and whatnot
lilgrson 22: knows what she's doing
lilgrson 22: has some awesome research plans set up
lilgrson 22: and a really nice lab space that's currently being set up and almost ready to be used
lilgrson 22: she has no current grad students with her
lilgrson 22: so i'd have no direct mentors or whatever i guess in the lab
lilgrson 22: which has its positives and negatives
lilgrson 22: cause i wouldn't have people to really look up to right then
lilgrson 22: and help guide me
lilgrson 22: but i'd have more one on one interaction with her
lilgrson 22: and id' kinda be on the top of the totem pole for the future
lilgrson 22: i'd see firsthand the whole process of setting up a lab really
lilgrson 22: which could be cool for the future
lilgrson 22: and i wouldn't have to fight over studies or participants or whatever
lilgrson 22: and it's not like she's completely new...so it's not really risky
lilgrson 22: but the division is really small right now
lilgrson 22: there are only two profs in the developmental division
lilgrson 22: and some people say it's important to have a bigger department and whatnot
lilgrson 22: but they plan on hiring someone this coming year
lilgrson 22: and another the following year
lilgrson 22: and they're kinda in this growth process
lilgrson 22: well, some people say it's important to have many people to go to
lilgrson 22: like, if you end up just not clicking with your advisor, you can work with other peopel
lilgrson 22: people
lilgrson 22: but really, i would probably just work with her anyway
lilgrson 22: and although their department isn't as big, when i visited, i met with people in different departments-human development, linguistics, speech and hearing...and they all seem to want to work together a lot
lilgrson 22: she was nice
lilgrson 22: she had me over to her house for dinner and everything
lilgrson 22: and her old grad students had only good things to say about her as an advisor which is a good sign
lilgrson 22: yeah
lilgrson 22: when i visited, they paid for my flight, a hotel room, a limo, and all my food while i was there
lilgrson 22: craziness
lilgrson 22: that's the general gist with that program in particular
lilgrson 22: and then there's the location factor
lilgrson 22: it's somewhere new
lilgrson 22: which could be exciting
lilgrson 22: but also kinda scary
lilgrson 22: i wouldn't know anyone
lilgrson 22: i'd need to find housing by myself there
lilgrson 22: and it's more expensive
lilgrson 22: and not as safe
lilgrson 22: could be kinda lonely
lilgrson 22: i dunno
lilgrson 22: since the department's smaller and whatnot
lilgrson 22: and then a lot of grad students go to school with a husband or wife or something and aren't extremely social, ya know?
lilgrson 22: but yeah
lilgrson 22: but, also, it's near a city
lilgrson 22: which could be exciting
lilgrson 22: being able to go to DC all the time and explore and whatnot
lilgrson 22: the weather's somewhat milder there i think
lilgrson 22: the campus was really pretty
lilgrson 22: so yeah
lilgrson 22: lots and lots of factors to consider
lilgrson 22: illinois...
lilgrson 22: the program's technically higher ranked
lilgrson 22: like, according to us news and whatnot, it's 5th in the nation
lilgrson 22: it's a bigger department
lilgrson 22: the prof i'd work with there is really nice too
lilgrson 22: and she's really well known and established and respected and whatnot
lilgrson 22: her lab is up and running
lilgrson 22: and she has a few grad students already
lilgrson 22: i think all of her current grad students are actually from china
lilgrson 22: and english isn't their first language
lilgrson 22: so that's kinda interesting
lilgrson 22: umm
lilgrson 22: she's actually french canadian
lilgrson 22: and has a cute accent
lilgrson 22: and then there are a lot of other people who work in her lab for a few things but are really based in other labs
lilgrson 22: so, the big, well-established lab could be good
lilgrson 22: but it could also mean that i have less flexibility with what i do and less interaction with the prof herself
lilgrson 22: and it's collaborative-meaning everyone helps with everyone else's studies
lilgrson 22: which could be cool to learn about all of them
lilgrson 22: but yeah
lilgrson 22: and the cost of living is lower there
lilgrson 22: but it's still in central illinois
lilgrson 22: and i feel like it'd be hard to stay in central illinois and have some people be there at first
lilgrson 22: which would be kinda weird to mix worlds
lilgrson 22: and then to have everyone else go somewhere new and i'd still be stuck in central illinois
lilgrson 22: and i guess it'd be more comfortable
lilgrson 22: cause i kinda know the area
lilgrson 22: and know some people there
lilgrson 22: and know lots of people nearby
lilgrson 22: like around other parts of central illinois
lilgrson 22: and obviously up at home
lilgrson 22: but i don't know if comfortable's good
lilgrson 22: or if i want to outstep my boundaries for once
lilgrson 22: i kind of think i'm ready for something new
lilgrson 22: cause even if it is more comfortable, a part of me feels like it would be even more stressful because of that
lilgrson 22: because i'd feel the need to balance people and whatnot
lilgrson 22: but then i don't want to go to maryland just because it's not illinois
lilgrson 22: ya know?
lilgrson 22: i e-mailed the postdoc i worked with this summer
lilgrson 22: cause she actually works in the field
lilgrson 22: and i asked her what she thought
lilgrson 22: cause i was like, well, i'm basically deciding between these two schools
lilgrson 22: i've heard people say that where you go decides your future
lilgrson 22: and it's important for the school to be good and whatnot
lilgrson 22: and i was like, i know illinois is technically higher ranked according to us news and whatnot, but i wanted to know her opinion as someone within the field
lilgrson 22: and i was like, i know maryland has a smaller division right now and i didn't know whether you thought this would be a problem or...
lilgrson 22: so, to my question about the importance of the grad school for the future, she said "That's true, but another factor that *really* matters is your primary advisor - are they good? do they have a good reputation? do you like them and work well with them?"
lilgrson 22: and then when i was asking about ranking and size and whatnot: "At Maryland I assume you'd work with Amanda Woodward? That's a great option - and I think she makes up for the small department by being herself fabulous - rigorous, creative, and very well respected in the field. Plus, DC is great (I'm in DC now, visiting). Lucky you, to have that choice."
lilgrson 22: and about illinois: "Oh yes, Renee is also very good, and very well respected. Those are
good choices; from an outside perspective, you can't go wrong. So
it's down to personal factors. Who was your favourite, for talking
about science? Who gives you good vibes personally?"
lilgrson 22: evenly matched for pros and cons causes problems
lilgrson 22: uch
lilgrson 22: stupid life decisions
lilgrson 22: they're both infant cognition kinds of labs
lilgrson 22: i'm really interested in the work the prof at maryland is planning on doing
lilgrson 22: and there are a lot of different kinds of things going on at the u of i lab
lilgrson 22: but i don't know if it's all necessarily in the area i'm most interested
lilgrson 22: i'm going to talk to that prof about it more when i visit again next week
lilgrson 22: i go through periods where i'm excited about the possibilities
lilgrson 22: then ones where i'm scared out of my wits
lilgrson 22: and ones when i'm really nervous
lilgrson 22: or upset
lilgrson 22: or apathetic
lilgrson 22: or...
lilgrson 22: i'm quite a mood swing

The general repsonse: "It seems like they're pretty evenly matched for pros and cons"

grrson22 @ 2006-03-01T17:09:00

2006-03-01T23:10:04Z

Dear Grad Schools,

It is now March. Please just send me the rest of my rejection letters and get it over with. That'd be great.

Thanks...

grrson22 @ 2006-02-26T22:36:00

2006-02-27T04:37:18Z

http://kevan.org/johari?name=sarah%20ashley

...

2005-10-17T04:33:45Z

Leave your name and:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

had to give in it to it...

2005-09-08T04:57:48Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet ruiez? Visiting Stephanie at U of I (she's her roommate)
2.~What would you do if you had never met cashisshort? Be short one big sis :o(
3.~What do you honestly think of ryrysthoughts? I heart Ryanne!!!
4.~Would or did kristina421 and jessipepsi go out? Gonna go with a no on that one
5.~Have you ever liked jewshay? Hehehe. I love Shay Ray!!!
6.~If axoprincess1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? Thanks for being an amazing friend and big sis. I love you! (but you already know that)
7.~Would ducky15c and apatheticdigger make a good couple? hmm...I think this is the first time I've seen it actually match a boy and a girl. I think they'd be weird.\
8.~Describe jennyinjapan in 3 words: smart, nice, fun
9.~Do you think stephne84 is hot? duh
10.~Would axoprincess1 and justmindy make a lovely couple? lovely wouldn't be the word...
11.~What do you think of when you see jessipepsi? Asian? That's what Vicki makes me think...
12.~Tell me something humiliating about apatheticdigger: hmm...he went to 3 dances with me in h.s. sad day for him :oP
13.~Do you know any of xoxo1010xoxo's family members? Yup yup. 2 brothers...
14.~What's aag1618's favorite color? no clue...sorry. blue?
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is box0gigglz411? 345897346907456987456987 :o)
16.~What would you do if jasonisawesome just professed their undying love for you? Hahahaha! Jason always gets the perfect questions. I think he's done this before. I usually say no Jason...I won't make out with you.
17.~What language does kristina421 speak? English?
18.~Who is princess3orange going out with? Kyle...but hers, not ours
19.~Is siren52684 a boy or a girl? girly girl
20.~Would viqui13 and jasonisawesome make a good couple? Aww. Once again it's a boy and a girl. But I think they're too similar in some ways and too different in others...
21.~Who do you think froshynicole would be great with from this list? Well, let's see...out of the two guys I think there are, she's already dated one and the other is Jason. Maybe Jenny? They get along well. :oP
22.~When was the last time you talked to stephne84? last night (technically super early this morning)
23.~What is jewshay's favorite band? i'm bad at knowing bands and such
24.~Does ducky15c have any siblings? hmm...hard one. that'd be paul.
25.~Would you ever date xoxo1010xoxo? I don't think we'd mesh well...and the fact that she's been dating Dan for quite awhile now might get in the way
26.~Would you ever date jennyinjapan? Would she ever date me? I'm betting both would be no
27.~Is froshynicole single? Unless she's met some Spanish senor
28.~What is aag1618's last name? Goyal
29.~What is viqui13's middle name? Ann(e?)
30~What is ryrysthoughts's fantasy? haven't discussed this with her before...
31.~Where does siren52684 live? Champaign...with Mindy in an apartment that keeps being set on fire
32.~Would you make out with ruiez? probly not
33.~Are cashisshort and xoxo1010xoxo best friends? not quite...but I don't think they hate each other
34.~Does jennyinjapan like aag1618? not even really sure if they know who each other are
35.~How did you meet viqui13? I think the first time I met her she was on yearbook when my mom was advisor and she was in 7th or 8th grade...weird
36.~Is stephne84 older than you? nope!!!
37.~Is justmindy the sexiest person alive? sure. why not?

grrson22 @ 2005-06-19T16:26:00

2005-06-19T20:47:05Z

So, I've tried writing two entries since being here, but I think ended up either deleting or privatizing both of them. Eh? I was really moody for awhile. So, my entries were generally written when I was really stressed out or upset or whatever. And I didn't want to publicly bitch and whine so much, so I made them private. Anyway, here are the decent parts of them:
"I finished my first week of work...although it seemed like it was a lot longer than that. Work's definitely going to keep me very busy. I'll be reading articles, scheduling, running studies, coding, presenting, discussing, and all sorts of other things. I'm sure it'll all be good experience, but at the beginning it's all just a little bit overwhelming. I'm working with two different postdocs on their research and they're both more than a little intimidating. As an example, the one went to Oxford undergrad, got her PhD at MIT, is doing her postdoc at Harvard, and was offered faculty positions at MIT and Berkeley, so she's going to be a professor at MIT in the fall. Craziness. I have to present on Thursday already, and I start running infants tomorrow."
(I actually did present...it went alright. The postdoc whose research I presented was really helpful and supportive and said it was great. And I am now able to run infants on my own...well, with the help of other interns at least. I'm doing all the counterbalancing, talking to parents, running the participants, training people to code, entering data into excel, teaching people to blind code, and everything. Since I just trained people to blind code it for me, we're just starting to get actual results...so it's cool to see whether our (ok...Rebecca's) hypotheses are being supported or not. I'm also helping other interns run theirs and code.)
"Ilyse and Brian have been really great. They cook and clean and put up with me well. Their meals are so nutritionally balanced and such...I'm not used to that at all. :oP I haven't worked out at all, but I've been walking to and from work a lot and eating better, so maybe it'll even out some and I'll actually lose weight? We'll see.
I've done a lot of shopping with Ilyse. I keep spending more money, but I have gotten some really cute clothes. Eh?"
"I've realized that my weekends are almost all planned out with either visitors or trips or something...which is good, because it's not like I really have big and exciting plans at all otherwise. There are 12 other interns at the lab, and they're all really nice-but most of them are living with boyfriends or friends from school or whatever, so I don't think we'll be hanging out outside of work much. This weekend I hung out with Ilyse and Brian-watched a movie Friday night, ran errands and went out to eat last night, and then met up with Brian's cousin (who was very drunk and amusing) briefly. I've been really productive today organizing all my things for work and checking off other random to-do list items. I know I'm a freak with my organizational crap, but if I'm not then my stress level increases by a gazillion."
"I've been really moody and overwhelmed and stressed about many things this week, but my BBCB and IOEA and random other friends have kept me sane and reminded me that I'm loved. Thanks for that. I love you guys!"

Here were some of the ponderings I had...a little more negative, but relevant:
"Seems like everyone around my age is either engaged or practically married or something or out partying every night and going crazy. I am on neither end of this spectrum. I actually feel like I'm practically the opposite of both in some weird way. I know most of this is under my control and I could potentially change it if i really wanted, but I don't think it's that simple. I don't know."
"I always knew divorce was common, but sometimes it still surprises me. I hate hearing about couples who seem like they're perfect for each other and extremely happy separating. And I hate that no one ever deserves to go through something like that...and that circumstances are never right for it but sometimes they're worse than should be allowed. I know...life's not fair. I guess it just leaves me even more afraid of it all. Even if I do ever find someone, what are the chances of it lasting forever? Is there forever?"
"What do I want to do with my life? Do I want to go to grad school? Am I cut out for it? Can I pass the GRE? Can I get into grad school? Can I make it once I'm there? If I don't want this, what do I want?"
"I care too much. I hate seeing my friends miserable, or even slightly upset. I know everyone can't be content all the time and I can't solve all the world's problems, but I wish I could do more. Do something..."

So, I pretty much posted both of those entries completely again, but at least the context isn't all as negative. Maybe? I think it's just making this a really long entry. Oh well.

This weekend Ilyse and Brian were both out of town, so I was on my own. It was kinda cool though. Friday night I took my time walking home from work. I wandered around Harvard Square and stopped in some shops and bookstores and such. On Saturday I took the T downtown and wandered all over. I started in Downtown Crossing, went to Quincy Market, and then back to Park Street and Boston Common. I saw a high school choir group from Michigan performing, random street performers doing acrobatics or playing music, and people playing frisbee, soccer, and croquet or something. I went to a movie by myself for the first time-saw Madagascar, which I'd been wanting to see. It was amusing-and it was all like parents and their kids in their, so cute. I finished my current book for my little club thingy with Stephie and Mindy while sitting out on Boston Common. I wandered around Borders for awhile, as well as other random stores in the area. When I got back to the Central Square area, I rented a couple movies at Blockbuster and picked up a couple things at the grocery store for dinner. I studied GRE stuff while watching movies last night. I've been getting tired super early though, so I was ready to crash before 11. I also talked to a few people on the phone and caught up, which was nice. Today I tried to sleep in, but once again had trouble. I finished reading an article for work, walked to MIT and walked around a bit, stopped to get an iced mocha and brainstorm for work, and then walked back. I was going to stop at a store and the library near here, but both were closed since it was Sunday. I was kinda excited when a woman with a Boston tourist kinda book asked me where something was and I was actually able to tell her. :oP I feel like I know my way around well enough to show my visitors around (first ones, Nicole and Christina, coming next weekend-yay!).

I found where all my music was on my computer and started listening to it all again today...I hadn't listened to my playlist in awhile. And no one's home, so I've been singing along and whanot-it puts me in a better mood. And I was looking at grad school stuff online today too. Ahh. I have no idea what I'm doing. Oy. I still need to decide if this is what I want to do. I know that this program will help me decide that. It's just a scary thought to decide your future, ya know?

Sorry. This is an extremely long entry. I don't even know where I'm going with all of this. I blame the coffee.

Random thoughts-I'll be 21 in less than a month. Very odd.
It's Father's Day and my dad and his children are in 4 different states right now. Shay's at camp in WI, Ilyse is in Vegas for a wedding shower, and I'm in MA. And my mom's birthday is tomorrow too. At least we sent cards?
Shay got an 800 on her SAT II Math and a 790 on her SAT Math. I told her I wanted her to take the GRE for me. :oP

K. I'll stop rambling now. I guess this entry makes up for my not updating in awhile...times 2million. Hope everyone else's summers are going well. I've sucked at keeping in touch with people if they haven't e-mailed or IMd me. Sorry. :o( I still miss you all!!

Here...

2005-05-29T16:31:51Z

So, I'm in Boston (Cambridge). My dad, Ilyse, and I took a two day drive to get here...not too bad. I drove for about 7 hours of it actually, but I guess I won't be driving for 2 1/2 or 3 months again anyway. We almost hit a deer, a turtle, and a bike that had fallen off the back of a car, but we missed all three. Nice.
We got here a couple nights ago, moved stuff in, and went to Harvard Square for dinner. They live in Central Square, which is right between Harvard and MIT. It was one T stop (subway) to Harvard Square, and we walked back...not too far at all. We had dinner there, watched an amusing street performer for awhile, walked a loop or so, and then came back. Harvard Square looks like a cool area...I figure I can explore more this week, and then I'll be going there every day once I start working too.
Other than that, Brian made us pancakes yesterday morning (he's really nice about having me here and such). And then we went to the suburbia area to run some errands for their apartment (since Ilyse pretty much just moved in too) and to meet some family friends for dinner.
My dad's staying here till tomorrow morning, I think. I don't think we have big plans or anything-I think we may be going to Quincy Market for lunch soon. I don't start work for another week or so, so once my dad leaves and Brian has to work again, I figure Ilyse and I will explore and shop and whatnot.
I've never lived in a city before, so this will be a completely new experience for me. Their apartment is in a great location-right at the heart of Central Square. The T stop is a block away, so I think I'm going to get a monthly pass once it hits June and that'll make going everywhere easy.
I'm looking forward to visitors. So far, I think the only person who actually has a ticket and is all set is Nicole. But Christina just said she was going to come with Nicole too, so that's exciting. And then Jasmin talked about it, but I haven't been able to get ahold of her. Mindy and Stephanie talked about it awhile ago, but I'm not sure how that's going to play out. Liz and Al discussed it, but Al was unsure. And then I know Ryanne and Amanda are coming, because SAC paid for their visit so we can go to the convention. Yay! I like visitors. See, if I just have people constantly visiting me, I don't need to try to find any new friends here. :oP We're also planning on going to New York some weekend to visit my grandparents. So yeah...we'll see.
I was looking at pictures on my computer last night and realized that the ones from my digital camera had the time and date of when they were taken (yeah-I'm slow)...and I got to London a year ago yesterday. That was an amazing weekend. Jane, Lyndy, and I did everything in those 4 days...crazy. I wanna go back. :o( But maybe next year I'll be saying, oh my gosh-this time last year I was in Boston...I wanna go back. We'll see. It seems like I'm always saying that.
I always have trouble adjusting to new places and environments. And it's especially hard when I know a lot of my friends are still together and whatnot. Like, I think a group is going to the beach tomorrow. And it's not like I love bathing suits or the water's going to be especially warm, but it's just the idea that I can't be there. Oh well. I know that staying at home all summer wouldn't have been right. Too many people are gone, I wouldn't have found a good job, and I would have gone crazy living alone with my parents while Shayna was gone.
Anyway, this is quite a long entry. Sorry. We'll see how much I end up updating this summer. Maybe I'll do it more than I have been recently. ? ? ?

?

2005-05-25T05:23:19Z

Can you picture yourself older? Like, your parents or even grandparents age?
Can you see your friends you grew up with married or with kids? Your friends from high school? Any of your friends?
Do you focus on the past, present, or future?
Do you know what you want to be "when you grow up"?
How do your priorities play out in life?
Do you keep in touch when you say you will?
Do you live with no regrets?
Is it possible to overthink and overanalyze everything in life?
Can one event completely change your perspective on everything?
Does every little aspect of everyday life change everything else?
Is there such a thing as normal?
Is happiness just what you make of it?
Is there a forever?
Do you believe in fate?
Are all lies bad?
Do you lie to yourself?
Do you stress out or not worry about anything?
Is there an in between in everything?
Do you feel guilty for anything? For everything?
Do you feel guilty for feeling guilty?
Are you open with other people? With your family? Your friends? Anyone?
Are you scared of failure? Of success?
Would you rather know or not know what the future holds?
Is everyone excused by their history?
Do you miss people all the time? Or things?
Are you content?
Are you moody?
Do you feel out of place?
Does life ever get less confusing?
Do you know what love is?
Which of your memories stand out most?
Are you a city/suburban/rural...person?
Do you want to live where you grew up?
Do you like yourself?
How many best friends have you had?
Do "only the good die young"?
Are we here for a reason?
Do you really believe in G-d?
Did you like high school?
Do you think you chose the right college/after high school/career for you?
Is change the only constant?
Do you like to travel?
Are you competitive? In what?
Do you compare yourself to others?
Do you feel like you have to prove something to someone? Yourself?
Do you like to read?
Are you close to your family?
Do you still talk to friends from when you were in diapers? From elementary school? Junior high? High school? College?
Do you facebook stalk? Away message stalk? Livejournal stalk?
Do you have trouble letting go?
Do you have a secret that no one knows?
Do you keep things bottled up inside?
Are you decisive or indecisive?
Would you die for anyone? Kill for anyone?
Do you want to get married? Have children?
Would you have a child for a friend?
Do you sometimes feel like you'll be alone forever?
Do you have comfort foods? Comfort places? Friends? Situations?
Do you think people judge you correctly?
How do you think you're seen by your friends? Family? People from your past?
What has been your favorite year (age) so far? Your least favorite?
Do you feel older than you are? Younger? Your actual age?
Do you have life goals? Are they yours or someone else's?
Do you act differently around different people?
Do you try to please everyone? Upset everyone?
Are you a conformist? A non-conformist?
Are you girly/manly?
Are you stereotypical of your culture/race/ethnicity/nationality/sexual orientation?
If you weren't in college (working, etc.) for what you are now, what would you be doing?
Do you have a backup plan?
Are you independent or dependent?
Are you a homebody or can you not stay still?
Who is your role model? Do you have more than one? Do you have any?
Can girls and guys really be friends?
How do you know a true friend?
How well do you know your parents? Siblings? Friends? Distant relatives?
Do you like having roommates? Living alone?
Do you like board games? Puzzles? Logic puzzles?
Are you a partier?
What is a loser?
What do you consider immoral?
Do you talk more or listen more?
Are you often surprised? Excited? Sad?
Does the future seam unreal?
Does life seem surreal?
How do you know it's not all just a dream?
Do you really blow on it? (okay...just kidding-had to add that in there for Rach)
How do you keep yourself from forgetting?
Does looking at old pictures, journals, and notes make you happy or sad?
What do you think you'll be remembered for?
Do you hold grudges?
Do you forgive easily?
What is your biggest fear?
Do your friends from different times or places parallel each other?
What's the greatest lesson you've learned from a friend?
What is the best trip you've ever been on?
Where do you want to go more than anything? With whom?
Have you dreamed of your wedding since you were little?
Did you play with barbies? G.I. Joe?
Do you like kids? Elderly?
Would you rather be rich and live alone or be poor and have a loving family?
Do you volunteer to do good or because you feel like you should?
What is your most prized possession? Does it change often?
What is your favorite book? Movie? Song?
Do you know who your bridesmaids/groomsmen are going to be?
What was your favorite toy growing up?
Are you completely confused by this entry? Especially after not having updated in forever?

I had a different entry, but I decided just to do this instead. I don't expect anyone to necessarily answer any of these questions out loud...just some things to think about. I think a lot during breaks-when I'm not in class or working. I tend to overanalyze and overthink and everything...which is why I don't do so well with breaks. I need to keep myself busy. My previous entry was very stream of conscious and rambling. It was also kind of negative. So, instead of that, I just decided to post a lot of questions...random and weird. Take it as you wish-

Oh. I'm home. Leaving for Boston in less than 36 hours...very odd. Maybe I'll post more later...

what? sarah's updating? weird...

2005-03-20T08:46:25Z

I know. I never update. Except now apparently. Yeah. It's the end of my spring break and I should be sleeping so I can pack and drive back to school and all that grand stuff tomorrow. But here I am.
I decided that I need to go somewhere for spring break next year, cause I've been in Schaumburg for the past three years and especially when most of my friends are either out in the real world or at U of I where they have a different break...yeah. We'll see about that. But I got to hang out with Lori a lot and have a great Super China Buffet lunch with Lori and Nicole and my weekends were really fun for this break, because I got to see people and go downtown multiple times and such. And I just always laugh so much when I hang out with people at home...I love you all.
Um...yeah. I feel like I should write more since I never update, but I figure the people who really care either already talk to me or can ask me...right? Makes sense to me.
WARNING: My survey skills are lacking...is it because I have not done them in so long? Perhaps. Either way, I'm sorry that I suck and my brain doesn't work sometimes...eh?

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Sarah
2. Sari
3. Sar

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. tazdg
2. lilgrson22
3. um...

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My commitment/determination
2. That I try to make my friends and family my top priority and try to be the best friend i can (even if I don't always succeed)
3. Generally a "good kid" (some may call me a goody goody)

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. How I overanalyze EVERYTHING
2. Being highly moody/bitter/bitchy a lot of the time
3. That I'm generally a "good kid" It works both ways...

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Polish
2. Russian
3. Jewish

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Losing people I love
2. Never finding happiness or being satisfied
3. Failing at "life goals"/not having "life goals"

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Food/water/sleep (duh-figured those could count as one)
2. Talking to/listening to/communicating with at least one person
3. Productivity (even if productivity=fun/relaxation...don't ask)

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. My new jeans that have the crazy pattern on the inside of the pocket (ask Nicole)
2. My pretty blue bra with the lace and diamond-y things (hey...since no one sees it, I have to at least tell people when I'm wearing it)
3. My chai necklace

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS RIGHT NOW:
1. Um...I suck at this game
2. I don't really download music anymore
3. Or buy CDs...

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS RIGHT NOW:
1. Gosh darn it
2. I suck at this game
3. I seriously can't think of anything right now :o( Failure...

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Buying alcohol? Does that count? You know me, the drunk...but I figure it's still kinda exciting to be able to do it
2. Applying to grad schools? Does that count either? Wow...I really am bad at this whole survey thing. When every comment ends in a question mark, you know it's not a good sign
3. Let's be honest here...I'm not going to say I'll try a new food, because we all know I'm really picky :oP

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP, BESIDES LOVE
1. Honesty/Trust
2. Good/open communication
3. Laughter

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (In no particular order)
1. More than half of my roommates are engaged
2. My full Hebrew name is Sarah Chana Bat Avraham Yizchak v'Golda Chaia
3. I went to a baby-sitter through 6th grade

THREE PHSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE (or same) SEX THAT APPEALS TO YOU:
1. Smile
2. Eyes
3. Personality actually totally changes how attractive I think the person is physically...so I think that counts

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Stop feeling guilty about stupid things like not being productive on a weekend day/night
2. Stop checking peoples' away messages over and over when I'm online
3. Eat a ham and cheese sandwich? Hahaha! :oP

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Reading
2. Working/playing/spending time with kids
3. Not sure if organizations on campus and such count as hobbies...but all of those

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. Find out what's actually going on in the minds of certain people
2. Spend more time with my home friends before having to go back to school
3. Sleep (cause thinking about tomorrow is exhausting, but I kinda don't want to sleep...)

THREE CAREERS YOU ARE CONSIDERING:
1. Some sort of research career involving developmental psychology/children
2. Professor
3. Child psychologist

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Boston (after June to visit Leesee there)
2. Europe...everywhere-back to Bristol, London, and Paris...and to lots of other places-Ireland, Scotland, Italy, Germany...(does that still count as one)
3. Hawaii

THREE KIDS NAMES:
1. Rianna
2. Paige
3. Naomi
(Not the three easiest letters to work with...)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Make sure everyone I love knows how much they mean to me
2. Get married
3. Be a good mother

2004

2004-12-25T03:10:50Z

So, I haven't updated in almost a year now. I guess after everything with Rachel, I wasn't ready to talk about all of that in livejournal land-and then nothing seemed substantial and worth talking about after that. It's been a year of extremes. I've done a lot this year...and I'm lucky for it all-which is why it's hard for me to say it was the worst year ever, as I know many of us would like to say. It was a really, really difficult year for me. It sucked so much for so many people. Losing Rachel was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life...and even now it still seems completely unreal to me and I can't quite cope with it. And after that, it just seemed to keep getting worse...no one got any breaks. There were people in hospitals, people dying, people hurt in more ways than I can name...which is what made it all what it was. It made me learn a lot and grow a lot (I know-corny, deal with it). I'm not saying I'm so much more mature and wise now...I still don't know anything. I don't know how to deal with things like death and sickness and depression. I don't know how to save the world...wish I did. But I've reorganized priorities and learned how truly lucky I am to have what I have. I may not show it all the time, but I'm so, so, so thankful for the friends and family that I have and all that love. Yeah...I still don't have a boyfriend. Sometimes it seems like I'm the only single person in the world-and that I always will be, being surrounded by couples all the time and never having anyone myself. And I haven't quite gotten past this either, but I have realized that right now, I am thankful for all the love I have in places other than this. I may not be "in love", but I know I am loved...or at least I like to think that I am, by at least a few people. Losing friends through death makes me realize how stupid it is to lose friends in other ways. A part of me wanted to push everyone away and not get attached so I couldn't get hurt, but then another part of me wanted to cling to everyone I had and tell them how much I really loved them and cared. There were some friends who I didn't talk to as much this year as maybe the year before, but that didn't mean that I didn't care or that they meant any less to me. And some other friends, I talked to more this year...I found that there were some friendships I was afraid of losing a long time ago that are back and almost stronger than ever. I'm trying to make this all sound as positive as possible I guess. I can't say I'm "happy" and everything's hunky dory (how do you spell that?). I'm not generally an optimistic person, but I'm trying to make myself believe these things that I'm saying. I know I'm lucky. I know I am. I don't even have to look to the "starving children in Africa" to see this...I haven't even had to deal with nearly as much as some of my closest friends have. But I still have a hard time with it all. I guess that makes me human, right? So, this is really long and pointless rambling. I don't think I'm making sense anymore and my head hurts from all of it, so I'm going to stop now. But here's that survey that everyone's been doing...it took me awhile to do because I thought about some of the answers more than some of the others. I couldn't remember a lot from the beginning of the year-I always think more of the most recent semester and almost forget about the spring before. And so much of that was a blur to me this past year that I probably couldn't remember a week after it even happened. Most of what I wrote was for myself to remember, so you don't have to read it all...I know this entry is long enough in the first place without it. Sorry. I've had a lot on my mind lately...
I would say here's hoping that the next year will be better than the year before, but it's hard because I know that life's not going to magically become easier. It just gets worse from here, right? I just realized this year the reality of it all. :o/ Last year started out with probably the best day of the year (in Israel, climbing the Masada at sunrise, hiking in Ein Gedi, floating in the dead sea...) and all went downhill from there. I guess I have no plans for New Year's this year, so maybe it will go backwards...New Year's will suck and the rest of the year will be better? I suppose I can hope. I hope all of you have a better year...

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Let’s see…went to Israel-climbed the Masada, floated in the dead sea, hiked in ein gedi, rode a donkey, rode a camel, went to the western wall, ate at a kosher mcdonald’s, slept in a Bedouin tent…(and that was all the first week)Experienced the death of one of my best friends…really learned how unfair life is through too many experiences this year. Visited friends in hospitals, took a friend to the ER, watched too many friends in too many kinds of pain. Went to Europe-Bristol, London, Paris, Bruges, Brussels…lived with a host family, went to UWE, made travel plans without adults, saw Big Ben, the London Dungeon, palaces, the Royal Mews, Westminster Abbey, stayed in the Beaver Hotel, saw the Eiffel Tower, Sacre Coeur, Notre Dame, the Palace of Versailles, the mannikan pis, spoke French in France, went on a bike tour, chocolate tour, and boat tour in bruges, went to Berkeley castle, bath, and so much more…Went to Cape Cod, visited a friend in St. Louis-went to St. Louis Zoo and the Six Flags there, learned how much friends and circumstances can really change, lived in an apartment, got my first car, took developmental psych, advanced stats, abnormal psych, managerial accounting, volunteered at normal public library for 10 hours a week, took brit lit, research methods in dev. psych, behavior disorders in children, business finance, marketing, volunteered at Milner library…joined up til dawn, became secretary of SAC…plus much, much more-it’s been a year of change…

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t think I really made a resolution last year…I can’t remember. I don’t usually make any, because I know they rarely happen and I’d probably forget them. So probably not this year either…

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Um…not that I can think of- last December was 2003 and that’s the last I cremember at the moment.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Too too many

5. What countries did you visit?
Israel, England, France, Belgium!!!!

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Less tragedy and hurt for all of my friends

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 23rd is the only one I can think of the moment

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I’ve learned a lot about life this year and made it through. I tried to be a good friend and be there for people…not sure how much I succeeded all the time. So I guess my main achievement is the strength that I’ve gained through things-what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?

9. What was your biggest failure?
I guess that’s hard because one of the things I regret the most is something I couldn’t really change. Let’s see… not always being there for some friends when they needed me most.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Um…nothing serious that I can think of right now. Nothing compared to what some friends have dealt with this year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I don’t know about what I actually bought…but as far as my parents, probably my trips…all of them (well, they didn’t pay for Israel…but in general), and my car

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Um…um…the people who were there for me when I needed them

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I’m going to go with no one’s but my own for the most part. I don’t think I can blame other people for things without knowing what they had to deal with too…

14. Where did most of your money go?
Lots of traveling…lots and lots of traveling. And then food and apartment
such at school…I really haven’t bought much new clothes or anything this year though

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Um…I didn’t really get super excited. Maybe about my trips? But not as much as one would think…possibly because everything just seemed so surreal this year that I wasn’t too excited about it. My roomies and I were excited about our apartment way before we moved in too…???

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
I can’t really think of any at the moment. Mandy listened to Yellowcard a lot at some points. Other than that, I can’t think of them right now. I’m sure there are some from certain things… :o/

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? Well, I’m not sure. I think it’s all on a different kind of scale now…
thinner or fatter? I think I’m a lot fatter :o(
richer or poorer? All I’ve done this year is spend money and I haven’t really made any…oops?

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I’m not sure…can I say less thinking? Oh shoot-that’s the next question. Maybe more relaxing and de- stressing?

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Like I said above, thinking. And if we’re talking completely unrealistically, can I say spending time at hospitals and funerals and whatnot? :o/

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Um…tomorrow? I will be going to a movie with Jana and Stacey as per usual. Maybe we’ll order some Chinese food later-that’s what Jews do on Christmas.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Nope…

22. How many one-night stands?
Ha! That’s funny

23. What was your favorite TV program? New one?
Um…I didn’t watch as much tv this year. I still love Gilmore Girls, but I got upset with it this year when the characters were acting stupid. I think I need to not get so emotionally attached to things like tv characters.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don’t think I hate anyone. No one deserves that…

25. What was the best book you read?
I can’t remember what books I even read besides those for my brit lit class that I’ve read really recently. I miss reading though…I’m excited about reading more for fun during this break.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Let’s see…there was Mandy’s wonderful recorder playing and singing of “Hannukah”, Amanda’s learning of the clarinet and “Merry Christmas Mandy”, and their wonderful rapping…??? Haha-I can’t remember anything really better.

27. What did you want and get?
This is going to seem redundant-all of my trips were probably the biggest thing. Plus my apartment and my car. And friends who can cheer me up no matter what and who are always there for me at school

28. What did you want and not get?
A break from all of the crappiness and some good news for once…

29. What was your favorite film(s) of this year?
Love Actually-not sure if that was last year technically, but I watched it enough times this year to make it count

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Brian made us breakfast, Ilyse and Brian saved the day by finding an e-ticket machine for us (crazy long lines at the airport), flew home, um…not much else. Went to Mikey’s I think? 20’s not the most exciting year I guess-

31. What is one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not seeing all of my friends in so much pain. I might be able to handle it myself if everyone around me wasn’t suffering so much more than me…

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Um…comfortable? Right now I only have one pair of jeans that doesn’t have any wholes in it. And I bought 3 pairs of pajama pants from Victoria Secret this year. I’d say comfy-

33. What kept you sane?
Random messages, cards, and calls from friends, my roommates and hovey buddies’ crazy escapades, post-it notes and to-do lists in my planner…

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I wasn’t really too into any celebrity or whatever that much-never have been

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
A few of them bothered me a lot. When people based everything off of one issue which would not be changed mostly…

36. Who did you miss?
I miss too much in general. Rachel, Ilyse, Stephie, Jasmin, Julie and Rich, the rest of my friends from home, friends from school, friends I made in Israel, the rest of my family…who people were-I’m not so good with change-

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I can’t make a clear distinction between who I met this year and before anymore. Maybe Julie? My host mom in England? I haven’t talked to her since but she just made our trip even more amazing than it otherwise would have been. She was fun and entertaining, sweet and accommodating, a good cook, and hilarious!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Just one? Life goes on, I guess. Life’s a bitch. Life’s unfair. But someone always has it worse. And people always say that-but it’s hard to change things even though you know this sometimes. People will find strength when they need it. The strongest and most amazing people I know are ones who have had to deal with the worst experiences-they just fought through it all. I learned that sometimes it’s okay to be upset about the stupid things. I’d get angry at myself for being upset about the little things when such terrible things were going on, but I found that the little things were what kept me sane-yes, the stupid little things that pissed me off and upset me-made me human. People will change…I knew this before, but I guess I had to learn to let go. I had to learn to let go of some things and hold on to others. I learned not to hold grudges because they’re never worth it. I learned how much my friends mean to me and never to take them for granted (as corny as that sounds). I learned that even with change, some people will always be there…even if you don’t realize it all the time. I learned…a lot.

As I'm sitting here, I keep thinking of other things that I should have added about this year in the survey-like possibly figuring out what I may do after college and questioning so many things and...I think I'm just thinking about it all too much. I haven't really talked about all of this at all, so once I start it just keeps flowing...sorry

i'll be like everyone else-cause it's kinda cool

2004-01-30T04:47:25Z

see, the thing is-i don't even remember going to most of these states. i had to ask my mom which ones i've been to. and some of them i've only been in because i've been on roadtrips to places like Florida and Boston and such. so yeah...

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

One year later:

2004-01-11T08:06:53Z

So, it's been a year since i last updated. i thought maybe i'd try this whole thing out just this once again...yeah. weird. anyway, it's weird how much is different and how much is still the same from last year. i have to go back to school tomorrow-so that part's at least kinda similar. my break was quite different this year from last. i was still gone for parts of it that kept me busy, but definitely to different places. and the first part of my break before all of that was pretty boring and crappy. anyway, i did go to florida and israel over this break. it still seems almost unbelievable that i was there. i'll be posting lots of pictures once i get back to school...somehow. i'll figure it out. but yeah. um...i dunno. i don't really want to go back to school. it's not like i was so excited to be home that first week and a half doing nothing, but i'm not ready for all the work and stress to start again. it's kinda sad, cause i'm more worried and upset about hillel starting again than classes. and i'll be volunteering at the normal public library 10 hours a week this semester. i don't like how almost all of second semester is freezing cold and snowy either-especially with the library being just about the furthest point from my dorm. oy. i should really stop complaining. that's not what this entry was supposed to be for. i'm not really sure what it was supposed to be for though. eh? i have no idea. i think i'm really too tired to be writing this right now...i need sleep. seriously. i slept till 7:30 pm the other day-that's just sick. i didn't even know that was possible. i guess i was more jet lagged than i thought. and i was able to fall asleep easily the next night, but then i only slept till 7:30 am...which is why i'm so tired now. anyway, i should probably get some sleep so i can be conscious for that whole moving back into school thing tomorrow. i guess it's just sad cause i don't even know if i'm going to see any of my friends at all before like june. i don't have the same spring break as anyone this year, i'm not sure if i'll be coming home any time other than that, and i'm probably studying abroad in may/june, which may leave before some people even get back from school. oy! i may be home that easter weekend or whatever, cause apparently leesee and brian are visiting, but...i dunno. hopefully i'll get to visit u of i or whatever sometime. i guess we'll see. i'll have to figure it out. and people said they'd visit me-which i hope they all follow through with, cause it's easier for those people with cars. so yeah. i need to stop whining-and start sleeping. but i guess i should put something positive in this post-my last one had that whole nice dinner with the boys. let's see...
home isn't the same as it used to be, but my home friends are still comforting to me. a lot of people go home and have noone to hang out with at all. i like that i still have people who i can sit and do nothing with or sleep on their couches (or on them) while we all "watch a movie" or see at a party even though we don't hang out often or...whatever. and even though my family annoys me, i'm really lucky to have them too. i haven't been home for over 10 days since may-so i'm thinking that just makes me appreciate it more. i guess we'll see what happens with whatever i do this summer. but for now i still have to say that i don't hate being at home-although i was lingering there at the beginning of my break.
florida was a really relaxing trip. it was nice cause we weren't rushed or busy or whatever. we could sleep in and relax and still do things and go out and enjoy rides and whatnot. 5 days alone with my family can be a lot, but i lived through it. they're amusing at times, but i think those large doses were more than what i was used to.
israel was not what i expected, but i'm really glad that i went. i had problems with the program and our group wasn't the greatest, but the country was amazing. i still find it so crazy to be able to say that i did all these things-rode a camel and a donkey, swam in the dead sea, climbed the masada, went to the western wall, hiked in ein gedi, visited tzfad, went to the independence hall, and so much more...israel is an amazing and beautiful country.
so now i go back to school. i'm trying to think of how much has happened since i last wrote. i'm just writing about my winter break, but really it's been a year-two semesters and a summer. i can't even imagine everything from second semester last year, working at OSRUI, and so much more in between. it's just crazy. i guess it's not like i'm going to catch up or anything. i mean, i've obviously talked to most of you in between...it's not like i need to summarize my life for you. it's just kinda odd. well, i guess i should really get some sleep now. hoping this next semester that i'm starting off my going to school tomorrow is a better one than all the ones before-there's optimistic thinking for you...

been quite some time and "they're so cute"

2003-01-11T09:29:54Z

so, i haven't updated in over two months, but ilyse and vicki asked me to update...so i am. the thing is, i was only going to update about things they knew-since i spent the last week with them in seattle. hehe. seattle was a really nice trip. i got to spend time with leesee and such...we went to the needle, "rode the funk", saw ilyse's cute neighborhood, visited "U Dub", ate in a purple house...yeah. it was fun. and it was also just really nice that i got to see leesee three times-well, it's been three separate occasions since i last updated this journal. now i won't see her till march though, but that's not too long.
i have to pack tomorrow (today) to go back to school. everyone said break would get long and boring and i'd want to go back, but i don't. my break hasn't been too long or boring at all. i've kept busy and been productive. i scrapbooked all of senior year, learned to knit, read a few books, went to boston for a shower, went to seattle for a week...yeah. overall, it's been pretty nice. i like relaxing and sleeping in, seeing people and just hanging out, going on trips to places i haven't been before...yeah. i'm not looking forward to going back to school. i want to see my school friends and such, but i don't want to start classes and the whole moving back thing isn't even looking too appealing. oh well. the thing is, my spring break's at a different time than almost everyone else's, so i won't get to see everyone again until summer probably. it's really weird. that's a long time away. first semester went by really quickly though. i don't know. anyway, i wasn't planning on making this a long entry or anything, but i just HAVE to talk about what happened tonight. the boys did the cutest thing ever. so, last week at some point, they dropped off flowers and nice printed, store-bought invitations to a dinner. it told us that it would be formal (meaning dress up) and the restaurant was "4 attractive guys" in italian. it was very cute. so, that's what we did tonight. i didn't really decide what i was wearing until right before i went. but, anyway, when we got there, there was a sign that said valet parking...and it was lit up on the lawn. so, the boys opened the car doors for us to let us out and parked our cars for us. and we got little slips of paper to get the cars back later. and when we went inside, they took our coats and everything. and we were brought into the sitting area...cocktails were supposed to be at 7:30 and dinner at 8. so yeah. they made us little kiddie cocktail type thingies-and they were really good cherry or kiwi drinks. and they even brought hors d'ourves-cheese with toothpicks and crackers all displayed nicely on a tray. it was so cute. and when we took some crackers and they took it back, they reorganized it to make it look pretty again for when the next people came. and they gave us a bell to ring if we needed anything. and they put up sheet curtain thingies so that we couldn't see into the kitchen. and they were all dressed really cutely-three of them in their old band uniform tux things...and mikey still dressed up. kyle had the towel on his arm thing going and jason had a fun chef's hat. they were all so adorable. i couldn't count how many times we said "they're so cute" tonight. so yeah. after we all got our drinks, they came in to tell us that dinner would be served. it was so cute, cause they stayed in character so well and kept coming to check on us. oh. and there were candles and everything all over too. so yeah. we went in to eat and the table was set all prettily. there were flowers for the centerpiece in the middle and the tablecloth was freshly ironed with matching cloth napkins. and the napkins were folded all prettily with ribbons. and there were name cards with our full names typed out in cursive. and when we went to sit down, the boys pulled out our chairs for us and opened our napkins and put them on our laps for us. it was so adorable. aww. so yeah. they brought us water and "wine" (sparkling grape juice). and then they asked us if we wanted anything else to drink. they even had cute little wine glasses. everything was so sweet. so yeah. then they told us what we would be eating. there was bread already on the table. that was really good, but we didn't want to eat too much, because we knew there was a lot more to come. we had the choice of soup or salad. and they had lots of different dressings for the salad. and i got the soup. it was cream of broccoli with alphabet noodles. high class. it was really amusing. we were having a discussion while eating about whether or not they made the soup and where mikey's family was...and paul was pouring drinks during this...and when we finished discussing he answered all three of our questions at once. it was kinda amusing. let's see...after the soup they told us what the main course would be. it was chicken parmesan with spaghetti and our choice of three sauces. impressive. so yeah. they were smart enough to have vegetarian choices for jasmin and picky people like myself. and they were SO cute when they all came out to serve it to us. i took lots of pictures. anyway, they even had a cheese-less chicken for me in case i wanted it, but needed to be kosher. i was like, aww!!! they tried so hard. :o) oh yeah...and with the salad, they even chilled our forks and made stephanie her weird salad with just croutons, cheese, and dressing. they're so good. anyway, oh! they had really good garlic bread too. it was rather amusing, cause while we were eating, they were in the kitchen and serving us, and we still had the bell and such. they'd check on us a lot and such, but they didn't eat with us. and they were in the kithen preparing and stuff. and we would randomly here jason just swear really loudly. lol. and it was like a puppet show, cause the sheet was white and there was a light, so we could see their shadows. it was rather amusing. so yeah. after the meal, they even had choices of dessert. they had made a cheescake themselves the night before, and they also had oberweiss ice cream...high class. the ice cream even had little chocolate shavings on it. everything was just so cute. so yeah. they were still being so nice and doing everything we asked them and coming when the bell rang and...aww. so yeah. i'm trying to remember what else happened...while we were eating dessert, we could hear the guys. they were so funny. they were eating the rest of the ice cream out of the carton. and they would eat the food that was left on our plates when they cleared the table. hehe. yeah. they even did all of the dishes themselves and wouldn't let us near the kitchen. it was all so impressive. oh! i forgot, before dinner started, we heard this loud crash and boom and...yeah. apparntly jason broke a dish, but they told us that it was just his impression of it-he's good at imitating it. hehe. i'm trying to think what else was really cute about it. i don't know. it was so much more than i would have ever expected from them. i love them. i have no idea what made them have the desire to do this so suddenly, but it was the cutest thing ever. they all looked so exhausted when they came to sit with us afterwards though. we felt kinda bad. they had been planning all week and cooking all day today. i was so incredibly impressed. we were like, we have to do something to pay them back...they wouldn't want a fancy dinner or anything though. so, we decided that what they would enjoy most was if we made a fake hooters restaurant for them some day. hehe. riiight. we're not all going to be together again until summer though. that's so sad. :o( crazy spring breaks being at different times. tonight was my last night seeing most of the people before going back to school...i guess it's good though, cause i'll think of the nice-ness first when i miss them. i miss the boys a lot when i'm at school, because i don't really have any guy friends there. stupid isu. oh well. oh yeah. jason definitely lost his being nice-ness later in the evening. grr. anyway, yeah. oh...i also went shopping with stephie today and stopped by the crazy band alumni thing shortly. it's been an interesting day. it's kinda been an interesting break. anyway, i should probably get some sleep, because i have to wake up and pack lots tomorrow. :o( i don't know if i'll write again soon or not, but...yeah. this was quite long enough for now. goodnight.

going home tomorrow? that's odd

2002-11-01T06:30:43Z

yeah. i'm going home for the first time tomorrow. that just seems weird to me. i dunno. it's been almost three months. anyway, yeah. i just thought i should update about some random things.
band this week: we had no band on monday. we got out early yesterday. we didn't have sectionals tonight. crazy stuff...i only have four days of practice left too-so nice!
comp: we don't have any class next week. this means that i only have one class on tuesday and one class on thursday next week. and i can sleep in till noon both days. it's crazy!!!
halloween-jazzy's birthday too. a lot of people are out partying and getting drunk. i didn't do much homework tonight, but i wasn't partying or anything. yeah. i watched beauty and the beast with some girls in my room before dinner. brad stopped by the room at some point too. and i sent him down to meet lyndy. hehe-it was amusing. we had our floor dinner at watterson. instead of doing homework after dinner, i went and watched friends in mandy's room, then we talked and such for awhile, then i watched good morning miami and talked online. then i was wandering around and talking to other people for awhile. and we watched now and then tonight too. yeah. good times.
oh! i got mail from mrs. hibel, lizzy, and nicole green today too. sorry...random.
it's really weird to think of going home. i dunno. i saw my family a couple weeks ago and i saw u of i people a few weeks ago. i feel like i've been home a lot more recently than i have, but that's probably just because i've seen most of the people multiple times. i dunno. and i'm kinda gonna miss the people here-which sounds weird, cause it's only a weekend and...yeah. i dunno. i'm weird. i need sleep. goodnight.

moody

2002-10-30T06:11:04Z

yeah. i've been really moody today for no particular reason. i know it's not pms, but i'm not really sure why. oh well!
so, first off, i overslept and woke up at 9:40 when my class began at 9:35. oops! i jumped out of bed and got ready really quickly, so i was only about 15 minutes late. and i didn't miss much apparently. my teacher didn't really seem to care. and we were supposed to get papers back today, but apparently he didn't really grade all of them, cause they were all so good or something according to him. i dunno if that means we all get A's or what. but yeah. that was a plus. when i got back, i ate lunch and such and then went to colloquium. colloquium wasn't too bad. we got another assignment, but it's not due for awhile. what else? um...oh. french was next. we are always so behind in that class. our test that was originally supposed to be today isn't till next monday. and the paper that was supposed to be due next monday isn't due till a week later. so yeah. and after french, i went down to check my grade on my psych test, and i got 100% on it!!! yay! that was really exciting! it put me in a really good mood for a short time. i got a french quiz and paper back yesterday in class and got 100%s on both of those, so it made me happy that the two subjects that i may be major/minoring are ones that i'm doing really well in. so yeah. that was my really exciting news for the day. oh! that and that i got a letter from my friend Sarah. hehe. she lives down the hall from me, but i wrote to a bunch of them awhile ago, cause they were all talking about how they wanted mail, and she just wrote me back. so it was in an envelope and in my mailbox and everything. hehe. fun stuff! i did a bunch of homework and such after that, cause i was motivated. i don't remember what else happened then, but...yeah. i don't think any of it was too exciting. i had to go bowling instead of to class for presidential scholars colloquium today. they took attendance and everything. it was actually kinda boring and...yeah. i dunno. i was in a bad mood for some reason. i got 128 though, so not too bad. eh-whatever. and then i had to run back to the dorm, change, and go to the volleyball game. i was kinda late, but i was there for plenty of the game. yeah. it was long and pretty boring. oh well. i only have one more game. i heard that our football team may have made the play-offs though. i would be VERY unhappy! first of all, if they don't make play-offs, i'd be completely done with band-practices and everything after next week. but if they go on, we'll continue to have practice in this gross weather. and the first play-off game is thanksgiving weekend. not only does that suck because of thanksgiving, but it's also ilyse's wedding shower. so, i don't know if i'd be able to get out of the game because of that, but even if i did, i'd probably still have to go to practices all through november. :o( grr! but yeah. other than that...i came back here after v-ball. i also found out that al's gonna be home this weekend too, so i get to see her. yay! that is very exciting!! and we watched gilmore girls tonight too. it was a rerun too though, so that was kinda disappointing. oh! and i got an e-mail today saying that my roommate is moving out next semester and if i want to request a new roommate, i need to do it by thursday. so, i haven't talked to my roommate yet, but i talked to my friend sara, and i think we're going to room together next semester. so yeah. it's nice to have that figured out-kinda...i hope. oy. i have a feeling that i'm not going to get a whole lot of homework done this weekend...especially since i won't have my computer or anything. that's weird. oy. i should get some sleep so i don't oversleep again. :o( goodnight all!

i love my fan club

2002-10-28T05:57:56Z

i don't know if i wrote about my fan club before, but i have a fan club here. hehe. some of the girls on my floor wrote on my board one day and made a fan club. so, now sometimes they leave messages and sign it as president or treasurer or whatever. and today, when i just left to go to the bathroom, there were four messages on my board. one said "i love sarah g" -the historian of the sarah g club, another said "i love her too" -the treasurer, a third said "i love her more" -the president..., and then there was one by the treasurer's that had an arrow pointing to the president's and said "no, I do" I like being loved. I've missed that since I've come to school. I know people who used to love me haven't stopped, but...it's just sad not to have anyone like that here all time. I don't have someone like a stephie, mindy, or jaz who is here to tell me that all the time. yeah. just a thought...

Mmm...easy mac

2002-10-28T04:25:42Z

Yeah. I'm eating easy mac. Yummy! I realized that I hadn't had dinner, so I was like...interesting. But yeah. I haven't had it in awhile actually. I've been eating really terribly this weekend though. I had pizza last night, and fries and a McFlurry today. Oy! I justify my eating bad on weekends, because most other college students are out getting drunk, and that's worse for you-and I don't do that.
Hmm...what do I want to write about? I don't remember what I wrote about last time. Well, what have I done today? No, wait...I don't think I wrote last night. I watched Sabrina last night with the Holverson's. That movie's really cute and has some really funny lines. I liked it. Because of the time change, I ended up going to sleep pretty early, and I slept in really late too. It was nice. And I was fairly productive today too. I did French homework and some studying for Psych this morning. And then I went to lunch with Sarah, Amy, and Sean. And then I did more homework. Hmm...what else? I didn't eat dinner, but there had to have been something else...I don't remember. Oh well. I talked to Mindy on the phone. Oh! I helped my mom and aunt find addresses for Ilyse's wedding shower. They were trying to find the addresses of all of her friends from high school, but we don't even know where any of them are-home, school, grad school...so, I looked up some on college directories, some on the conant alumni site, and I even called Melissa and had her find her next door neighbor's address. Oy. It was crazy. But they were very appreciative. So yeah. There was a Halloween party going on in our lounge, but I didn't go to it. Well, I went for about twenty seconds, but didn't stay. I also went and watched Pretty Woman in Brianne and Mandy's room. It was on TBS. Did you know that Richard Gay is gere? Hehe. Mandy asked that twice. Oy ve. But yeah. My roommate's boyfriend is here again. I haven't been in the room much this weekend though. Oy. I don't remember what else I was gonna write about, but I'm done for now.

crazy day

2002-10-26T16:23:23Z

So, yesterday was an interesting day. I was REALLY tired when I woke up, so I made myself some cappuccino to wake myself up. And then I headed off to Psych class. The drink really worked, cause I was wide awake. But the class was helping to keep me awake too. So, we're on the chapter that cover sexuality and gender, so she just had people write down any questions they had about sex, and she was answering them today. It was pretty funny. Some quotables:
"For me and the rest of the guys in here, can you please give us a roadmap to the G-spot?"
"Can you get pregnant from oral sex?"
"Do guys really like it when girls are on top?"
"Now some of you asked me about my personal sex life, and I'm not gonna tell y'all about that!"(prof)
"Erections are the great equalizers"(also my prof)
Oy. Yeah. It was an interesting class. We have a test on Monday though, so I'll have to work on that this weekend.
I didn't do much homework in between that and FOI, but I did shower and write a letter and go down to lunch. Yeah.
FOI is the most boring class ever. I swear. And we have to write a paper for next week that I don't even know how to start. Uch. It sucks. But, while our teacher is really boring, he also makes a lot of people laugh, however it's more at him than with him. He has this really nerdy laugh that he does all the time. And the other day, he started doing some sort of dance. lol! We were talking about how someone thought there dog was G-d, and someone goes, now that's just a bad case of dyslexia. We were all cracking up, and our professor started doing some jig up at the front. It's terrible, cause when everyone laughs at him, it's more of a silent laugh so he doesn't notice. But two girls to my right were doing this, and one girl across the room, and I was so about to start laughing out loud, cause everywhere I looked I saw someone trying not to laugh. Oy! Yeah.
Hmm...what did I do after FOI? I don't even really remember that much. I hung out in Sarah's room for awhile. I wrote more of the letter. I...don't think I really did homework. Oops. Yeah. Oh, no-I kinda started some work on comp. Yeah. Oy! Oh well.
And then I had band practice. I lived through it, but the good news is that we have no band practice on Monday. I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself! :oÞ Lyndy has a countdown of how many days we have left of band, and she was really excited to be able to skip from 7 to 5. Hehe.
After band, the usual after band dinner group that I eat with went to Watterson. And then Mer, Lyndy, and I went to Wal Mart. We got Mer a new fish and a frog and everything. Meredith has already killed two fish since she's been at school. Neither of them have lived 24 hours. Hehe. Lyndy and I were making terrible comments the entire time. We were like, can we throw a birthday party for it if it makes it to day two?! We felt bad picking one out, cause it was like we were sending it to it's death sentence. Hehe. Oh well. I think Mer got a little annoyed with that.
After that, I came back here and some girls on my floor and I had a baking party. Although it wasn't really baking, cause it didn't require an oven. It was more like microwaving and mixing. We made puppy chow and rice kripsy treats. It was really fun! And we made so much that we decided we needed to go give it to lots of people. So, first we went and knocked on every door on floor. And there were about six of us that would be at the door when they opened it. Hehe. It was amusing. But yeah. After we got through our whole floor, we decided to go meet some guys. We figured they'd all be happy to see girls and food at their door, right? Oy. Some of these boys were not very nice. In fact, I think a lot of them were scared. Oy. And there were a bunch of guys who were in the lounge concentrating on some sort of game really hard. And they had been in there doing that for quite a long time. I have no idea what game it was. Oh well. It was realy amusing though. And we all have lots of pictures from the night.
So, I ended up staying over in Sarah and Amy's room, which is really weird, cause it was right down the hall, but...yeah. Hehe.
And today I have tons of homework and band day awaiting me. Band day is this big high school marching band competition that our school runs. And most people have to either do a long, 6 hour shift of selling tickets or programs or something, but I got an easy job that only takes a couple of hours. And the AM shift people had to be there at 5:30. That's psycho. Apparently everyone meets at denny's at 3am before it, but...yeah. I didn't go. I don't know. Wow. I can actually here the drums outside the window right now...but it's not very clear, cause it's kinda far away.
Anyway, yeah. I should be doing a lot of homework right now. Uch. I should get right on that. I will write again later!

random

2002-10-25T05:01:42Z

i just thought of other things that i forgot to add to my last entry. froshy nicole called me today, and we talked on the phone for quite awhile. it was really nice, cause we've only talked through snail mail since i've gotten here. and we were still able to have a nice, long convo that was interesting and fun. and it made me more excited about going home next weekend and such. and i really want her to come visit me and such. and we were talking about her whole college decision thing, and i realized that i'm actually fairly happy with where i ended up. i mean, i love the people i've met here, and my floor is awesome. my classes aren't too impossible, but i'm still getting an education. it's not too big, not too small, not too many conant people everywhere...and it's practically free. so yeah. that made me feel a little better.
i just went down to mer's room to tell her i wasn't up for a movie, but apparently they weren't watching it anyway. but, when i got there, lyndy was in there, and she was like, Sarah!!! I haven't seen you in so long!! and she gave me a big hug. hehe. i was amused. and it put me in a better mood. i was like, i went to dinner with her last night and i saw her today, but i didn't really talk to her today. hehe. it's nice being appreciated though.
i was talking to mer about the band formal earlier. so, there's a formal in a few weeks, and i'm not really sure if i'm going. it sounds kinda fun, cause i'd get to dress up and whatnot and reuse one of my fun dance dresses...or borrow someone else's that's really pretty, but...i dunno. i don't want to go if everyone's going to have dates and i'll be all alone and...yeah. and mer has someone she wants to ask and lyndy's going home that weekend and...i just don't know. oh well. i've still got some time. but if i go, i'll want to bring a dress back with me when i go home next weekend. oy!
so yeah. my mom IMd me and asked about the invite list for ilyse's wedding shower and such tonight. i think she's driving ilyse crazy with all of this. in fact, i'm pretty sure she is. poor leesee. my mom can be a little annoying sometimes, especially in situations like this. i'm sure things will work out eventually. oh well. i should go to sleep...we'll see what happens-

go mellitones

2002-10-25T04:19:06Z

yeah. that's my new word. it's a mix of baritones and mellophones. i had sectionals tonight and our two sections ended up working together instead of doing the marching sectional with the trumpets and such. it actually wasn't too bad. the beginning was bad, but once we split off we amused ourselves. and some of the baritones are really fun-like meredith and aaron. yeah. it's amusing. and aaron, meredith, and i even stayed after it ended to march and go up on the really tall tower and walk home. it was freezing cold and windy, but amusing nonetheless. we're such nerds. and, what else? mer wants me to come watch moulin rouge in her room now, but i have a 9am class tomorrow and i feel like i should be doing homework. i don't think any homework's going to get done though. so yeah. we'll see. i just got an e-mail saying that my PS class is going bowling instead of having class next week. that should be amusing. hmm...what else? i had a french quiz today. i only had two classes, but i wasn't nearly as productive as last week. we had our floor dinner too. that was amusing. and i watched friends in jamie's room afterwards. yeah. i've been pretty unproductive yet again. oh well. tomorrow's a weekend, and i've done most of the homework that's due tomorrow. i'll live. goodnight!

quick

2002-10-24T04:52:14Z

i had to do a quick update since i'm in a tiny bit of a better mood now. i was sick of putting away laundry and sarah stopped by, so i ended up wandering the halls for a bit. amy needed to get rid of extra pizza she had, so we went to the guys side of the floor and got rid of it really quickly. and it was really funny, cause about four of us were standing kinda in front of the elevator when it opened and someone walked off, and as it was closing this guy completely leaned over as it was closing so he could look at us. It was so funny, because it was just so obvious. sarah and i were quite amused, but noone else saw, and they just thought we were kinda dumb when we were cracking up. oh well. and then we wandered into sarah clark (RA Sarah)'s room to talk more. we sat there and talked for awhile and then jamie and steven joined us. steven may just be the funniest kid ever. so yeah. all of that kinda put me in a better mood. i just thought i had to comment. i still feel crappy about all the other stuff, but at least i had a mental break of sorts. oh well. night!

uch

2002-10-24T03:56:20Z

Yeah. I'm just in one of those moods right now. I think I've given up on homework for the night, although I haven't done all that much. I can always hope that tomorrow will be as productive as last Thursday, but I don't that's going to happen. I tried working on comp tonight, but it just frustrated me. And I have a French quiz to study for, but I think I'm going to do more of that tomorrow. I didn't even write back to the people who wrote to me today yet. I'm just in a bad mood and I can't even really explain why. I mean, I know things that are putting me in a bad mood, but it's not like any of them are new. Nothing really happened to set this off, but...I dunno. Uch. On the plus side, I only have two classes tomorrow, but I also have sectionals for noone knows how long. But, we do have our floor dinner, which I'm excited about. And we're getting floor shirts too finally. And all the Sarah's wanted to get something to link us, cause we thought it'd be amusing (the 6 Sarah's on Atkin 6). So, we finally decided on Captain Planet. RA Sarah is Captain Planet, then we're Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, and Heart. So yeah. And...what else? I did laundry today. I had office hours today, and I forgot to bring homework to do for that. I have been really unproductive today. And I've been eating like crap. I always eat like crap though. I still don't know what's going on with the room situation for next semester. We've been getting mail about room switches and such, so I feel like I should figure this all out soon, but it's not up to me. So many people on my floor are moving all around. I just found out today that Megan's roommate is moving out too. Actually, she just found out today too. So yeah. And apparently when Sara asked her roommate about it, her roommate got all mad. I don't know. Andrea said that they told her that I could just request to keep it as a single and then she'd pay me the extra, but she doesn't know if she wants to anymore. I'm not sure when she's going to decide either. I don't see her much at all. This week she's been at theatre 24/7, cause I think the show she's doing crew for starts tomorrow. So yeah. I haven't seen her in a few days-except when I wake up in the morning or something. But yeah. Okay. I said that I wouldn't bitch and whine in this thing, but this whole entry has just been an unrelated stream of random complaints. I should be done now. Sorry! :o/

blah

2002-10-22T04:41:09Z

yeah. pretty much. it sucks when you think and overanalyze things too much and just put yourself in a really bad mood. oh well. life goes on...
i don't need to bore anyone with the details of my confusion within my head. i'll just go to sleep. i'm really tired. :o(